It was a beautiful day in Lisbon. Sunny, warm but not too warm. There
was a soft breeze by the river. It was a perfect day to meet a couple of
friends and walk around Parque das Nações.
If this Saturday was all about rain, thunders, challenging my inner #FuckItMellie (if you watch SCANDAL you got the reference)
and spend the entire afternoon watching football then last Saturday was
all about sun, friends, dinners and party. And by party I mean a 30th
year wedding anniversary party… excused to say they were my mother’s
friends. The tables were named after flowers and ours was Anastacia.
I’m floating with emotions.
That’s how I felt when I finished reading If I Stay two days
ago. What if the decision of living it’s on your hands. Even if you’re
laying in a hospital bed attached to machines to help you breathe.
That’s terrifying. That live as you know it can be gone in a second.
Without a note. Or a warning. Just like that it’s gone.
The decision. The decision itself can kill you. The fear of the
unknown can destroy you. But that same fear along with the hope are
strong enough to make you stay.
And now I cannot wait to know what happens to Mia and Adam when they
run into each other in New York City three years after the accident and
three years after she decided to walk out of his life.
Summer afternoons were made for ice creams and walks by the park. It's August and there are finally boats at the park's lake. It's tradition in my hometown that every year after May 15th (city's day) there are boats at the local park. But this year the tradition took longer to arrive. And people were already questioning the hospital, who owns the park which actual belongs to the thermal hospital, for the reason behind the break of a tradition.
If three years ago you would have asked if I was going to apply for a Masters I would have told you no. If two years ago you would have asked me if I was feeling positive about the decision I was making I would have told you "not sure". If a year ago you would have asked me if I liked my theme I would have told you yes. But if nine months ago you would have asked me if I was happy I would have told you no. If half a year ago you would have asked me if I wanted to throw everything out of the window, throw all the papers away and quit it all I would have given a straight forward yes. I was losing my mind. Everything I would do never seemed enough. I didn't read enough. I didn't write enough. I wouldn't write properly. I was losing my mind. And in the middle of all that I got sick. Not once, but twice.
There are authors who follow you all your life. There are stories that get stuck in your brain. There are some people who remain with you through all your life. Sophia Mello Breyner Andersen is one of those people. Writer, poet with a political conscience. Among other awards she was the first woman to win Camões Award, the most prestigious Portuguese award for literature. One year before her death she won the prestigious Queen Sophia Award for ibero-american poetry. Today (July 2nd 2014) it's the 10th anniversary of her death. And it also marks the repatriation of her remains to the National Pantheon. The same place where it lays the remains of Presidents, historical and cultural figures. So today, we celebrated not her death but her extraordinary life. And oh, extraordinary it was.
My desk finally looks like a desk! I mean it's clean as clean can be! I can see the surface! During the writing of my thesis all I could find was papers. They were every where.
Monday mornings mean going downtown running errands. Monday morning also mean breakfast at my favorite coffee in town. A ham sandwich and big ball of coffee. That's my usually. Sometimes I change the sandwich. But the coffee that stays regardless of what I eat. This Monday meant the beginning of a new adventure. This book has been standing in my book shelve for a year now. I cheated on the book jar this time (sorry). But I this time I couldn't keep my mind away from it. And so I started to read it. I'm liking the story so far. Not so much of the letters. They are really small which sometimes gives me a little bit of headache. But little by little. Chapter by chapter I'll get through it.
I could not be happy with a man whose taste did not in every point coincide with my own.
Which book(s) are you reading at the moment?
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| http://eofdreams.com/fire.html |
I'm afraid of fire. I was scared when I was younger that I couldn't even stand being in the kitchen each and every time my parents would cook. The moment they started doing it I'd just run out of there. I'm afraid of fire. No, not afraid. Trauma. I can't exactly remember how old I was. Maybe I was six. Maybe I was younger than that. I still didn't know how to swim. I still used the little kid's pool & a little float in a shape of a duck. But what I remember the most is seeing my dad jumping out of the pool all of suddenly. What I remember the most was seeing one of the apartments in fire. What I remember the most was seeing my dad jumping out of the pool and run to the flames because there was a baby inside. It was Summer vacation. And that is all I can remember about that Summer. As I grew older I got used to the fire in the kitchen and I did no longer run. But still afraid of the fire I was. Still afraid of the fire I am. Because I can't help but let those memories fulfill my mind. Because I can't help my imagination from creative scenarios that might or might not come true. And sometimes I scare myself with my own thoughts. Sometimes it seems irrationally. This fear I have. Sometimes it seems irrational. And my imagination just gets too wild. But nothing scares you more than a childhood memory.
This is not I had in mind for today's post! But I couldn't resist! After all Shakira's latest videoclip was completely shoot in LISBON! The video was shot in the heart of the town: Eduardo VII Park - in which Shakira appears dancing near a red flag (in reality it's Portugal's flag and not a red one). The video also features one of the most emblematic constructions, the famous Portugal's flap from the Expo '98, designed by the great architect Siza Vieira.
Eduardo VII Park is one of my favorite places. Special in the Summer. Book fair!
Have you ever been in Lisbon? If so, did you like it?
I have a never ending reading list. At home. In the shelves I have books I have yet to read. But I still look for more. I still buy more. I'm a compulsive buyer. When it comes to books, I mean. Well, at least it's something that feeds my mind and warms my soul. But despise having a never ever ending reading list I still hold on to a buying list. And this one just keeps on getting bigger.
I wasn't the most open during my University years. I still hadn't win the battle with myself. My past was still winning over me. So I would hide behind the smile, the sarcastic comments and the laughs. I wouldn't talk much about myself. Or let anyone know myself at all. But there were two people. Two people. Around them I would let myself be my self. That's what I miss the most. The crazy non-sense talks. The discussions about anything. The fun in the work. The feeling of non-judgment I would get from being with them. The simple fact that I would allow myself to be. I could be. I could breathe. Friends. I didn't get to make much friends on University. But those two. Those two I call them friends. They are my friends. I cannot wait for Summer to be here so we three can be together once again.
There is something about books. There is something about the stories they tell. The lives they share. The worlds they breathe. They are beautiful places where unbelievable things are allowed to happen. Places that somehow feel magical. A refugee from this crazy thing we all call life. A place that involves us so deep into its words, into the stories it tells, into the lives it shares. And for a moment all that surrounds us is forgotten. And all that matters is the lives shared through out the story it is being told to us. They are the light.![About [span]me[/span]](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/blogger_img_proxy/AEn0k_tntrkFAXGJ7mDwGB3IvW6WYxyNH20Cxrf7mCnoCzl2q3VPiSLHuG682KFqDcb9FnNHLNfiZwOhwH23F4uqOVYoo91hbDk=s0-d)